


The Pieces are Missing (But I Will Stay Until You Find Something New)

by Trololololoz (SillyWriterKidz)



Series: Trollhunter Drabbles/ one shots [5]
Category: 3Below, Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons), Trollhunters - Daniel Kraus & Guillermo del Toro
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Coach is a good dad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, He is trying, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25943296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyWriterKidz/pseuds/Trololololoz
Summary: Someone sent an ask about Coach being a dad and I just thought. Yeah he would be.AKA, Coach learns to be a comforting parent for Steve and is gentle with him. Steve opens up just a little.
Relationships: Coach Lawrence & Steve Palchuk
Series: Trollhunter Drabbles/ one shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1463170
Comments: 26
Kudos: 47





	The Pieces are Missing (But I Will Stay Until You Find Something New)

**Author's Note:**

> Steve has a probably panic attack and shuts down but Coach is there  
> First part is : https://archiveofourown.org/works/25818991

Steve smiled as he greets Coach outside of his room as if he hadn’t planned on slitting his throat, as if he hadn’t just tried to bite his own skin off. 

Coach isn’t smiling. 

Steve did something wrong. There must be a crack somewhere in his mask. Something wrong with his facade that Coach is concerned for him even though he shouldn’t be. What was he doing wrong?

“I heard you had to fight again,” Coach says carefully and worry was clear in his eyes, “You were gone for a while. Are you hurt?”

“No.”

_ Yes. He’s broken and hurt and what Claire said to him hurt. How the other knights treated him hurt. Watching the life leave Lancelot’s eyes as they carried him away and failing him almost immediately after his death. He wanted comfort, he wanted a hug and he wanted to be told he’ not wrong. That he’s okay. That it’s okay to cry. He wants he wants he wants- _

“Nothing’s wrong. Like anything could hurt Steve Palchuk,” A cocky grin that didn’t match his inner turmoil. 

Normally Coach would let it go. Before he always had, before he knew of Steve’s home life and before Steve had foolishly let him in. Why had Steve let him in? Why had he let down this stupid mask and let show that stupid voice that talks to much? No one likes that voice!

“Are you sure?”

“Uh, yeah?”

_ No no please see-through and please comfort us. Please don’t leave. Please please PLEASE.  _

“You can tell me,” Coach was careful with his words, watching Steve akin to how a person watched a scared animal, ready to bite, “I’m here for you, you do know that right?”

“I’m fine.”

_ No, I’m not.  _

“Steve,” Coach paused and took a deep breath, “I can see the bite mark on your arm.”

Everything s t o p p e d. 

Time slowed down as Steve felt his heart race faster than the seconds on the clock. His hand instantly went to cover that part on his arm, gripping so tightly that his mind thought it was another, larger hand. A hand that left bruises. A hand that taught him that affection was pain and pain was affection. To question every little gesture because anything could turn into an attack, a hit. It was like white-hot static was ringing in Steve’s ears. Strange, static can’t be hot but here it was. Loud and all-consuming and his face felt hot from it. Like the sound itself was emanating heat. 

“-eve.”

He could hear someone speaking. He knew Coach was talking to him but he couldn’t let his mask break. He couldn’t let the tears flow. 

“-teve” 

Why had he been so stupid? Why did he bite so hard? Why hadn’t he just let the mere feeling of his teeth on his skin comfort him? He didn’t even deserve comfort! He griped at his hair and pulled. The scalp was already so sore and painful from earlier with the burning fire of the water and how harshly he scratched at it. It ached with the tugs and his nails gripped the skin. He’s sure he’s bleeding. He could feel the wetness under his nails. 

“STEVE.”

The sound of a shout made Steve flinch, jerking his head to attention and body instantly set up in a defensive state, tense and ready to run at a moment’s notice. What he saw was Coach’s arms up in front of him but no fists were at the end of his arms. No anger on his face. 

“I-I’m sorry for shouting,” Coach apologized and Steve was even more terrified, “I know you don’t like it, I just needed you to snap out of it.” 

Steve didn’t respond, watching Coach with hesitant eyes. 

Coach took a deep breath before stepping over to Stee slowly and carefully. Each step is done with care, each step with a pause to gauge how Steve is reacting if he needs to take a step back. He felt like the caged dog in dog fights. Only taught to kill what’s in its path that kindness was also an enemy. 

Then the older man was in front of him, Steve realized he hadn’t breathed the whole time. Heart thumping wildly as he saw his own hands be pulled up gently to his face. There’s blood on the tips of his fingers and skin under his fingernails. 

“Kid,” Coach sounded so distraught, “What did you do?”

Steve didn’t answer. His eyes hyper-focused on the floor, the planks of the wood, and the markings on each. His eyes wide and his breathing shallow but he was outside of his body again but also inside of it. A weird half state here he both exists and does not exists. He could feel the pain, register the blood, but do not feel any urge to fix it. Any feeling that he should be worried. Pain doesn’t mean worry. 

Coach lead him to the couch and carefully sat him down. Steve still wasn’t looking at him still. Coach sighed and got up to grab a towel and some peroxide, cotton balls too. He wiped the blood off of Steve’s fingers gently, slowly. He kept his eyes down on Steve’s hands only and never moved to fast. If Steve even twitched Coach would instantly slow down or stop altogether until Steve was back to his statue-like state. 

“I got you something,” Coach said softly, pulling out some wireless earbuds. He passed them to Steve who took them, “Listen to some of your music.”

Steve looked at his phone and went to play some of his songs when MAry’s words came back to him. He flipped the station to a rock one but the loud music just made him feel antsy like he needed to move. Coach noticed this and flipped it back. 

“Oh thanks for introducing me to these guys,” Coach said, “They’re nice. I like them, good taste in music Steve.”

Steve felt his heart flip at the validation and went back to listening to his music. They weren’t rockers but acoustic versions of some songs. Plus a few violin versions of soundtracks that just made Steve’s wired mind slow down. For a moment he was fine but then came the stinging part. Coach had put the peroxide on the cotton balls and was lightly dabbing them against the scratches on Steve’s head. While he was trying to be as gentle as possible it still stung and Steve did wince. At least Steve was registering external stimuli again. 

“Do you want to talk?”

No response to which Coach sighed, “Would it help if I ask some general questions? I won’t make you talk but I need to know what’s wrong.”

A half-hearted shrug. 

“Did something happen on the trip?”

A short, half nod, like Steve, was second-guessing himself. 

“Did you get hurt physically?”

Steve snorted, lifting his shirt to show the various bruises, “Armour sucks.”

Coach bit back the words he wanted to say and held back from pulling Steve into a hug. That might too much for the boy to take right now. He had to be slow, he had to be careful. He’s talked about this with some people online. Searching for ways to handle Steve that didn’t result in the boy shutting down. 

“It does,” Coach acknowledged his words, “Were you hurt any other way?”

He noticed Steve quickly glancing away. That’s a yes. 

“Was it something someone did?”

Steve nodded, good they were getting somewhere. 

“Was it an adult?”

Steve’s head back and forth ina so-so motion. 

“Was one of the other kids involved in this?”

Steve bit the inside of his cheek. 

“Did they say something to you?”

The fact Steve gave was an obvious  _ ‘Yes but I was in the wrong even though I wasn’t.’ _

“May I know what it was?”

“She-”

She, Claire Nunez, the only girl that went with them. Claire’s a good kid, Coach wouldn’t think she would say something to cause such a reaction to Steve. Then again, considering Steve’s ADHD and abused past, his emotions are always turned up to ten. 

“I mean I shouldn’t have complained,” Steve let the flood gates out like a child trying to avoid getting in trouble, or someone else in this case, “I just felt kinda bad about how the knights were making fun of me but I  _ was  _ really bad at it. And Claire was struggling with her crazy awesome magic and the talking doors started to make fun of me and I felt bad and-”

Steve took a deep breath and brought his knees up to hid his face, “She.. said my problems weren’t real.”

Fuck.

One of the worst things you could tell Steve. Claire’s young, she doesn’t know Steve’s past and she wasn’t there for most of his time recovering and changing. 

“She also kinda glared at me when I asked if I could join in on the group hug but then again it was between Aarrrgghh and Blinky and Jim and Toby so I can understand I shouldn’t have asked I wasn’t apart-”

Shit, did everyone this whole trip just ignore Steve?

“And then Lancelot died in front of me and he told me to be courageous but I couldn’t so I failed him even though he died fighting and- and-”

Coach put his hands over Steve’s, preventing them from going to his hair again. If it’s not hair pulling it’s nail-biting, both horrible for Steve to do since he really hurts himself. 

“Your feelings,” Coach saw that Steve wouldn’t make eye contact and his body was defensive so he spoke calmly, “are valid. It hurts when others put you down while you learn something, especially if it’s a new thing. They shouldn’t have done that since you were just learning. It’s okay to be scared and I’m sure this Lancelot wouldn’t be upset because you are a  _ kid. _ ”

“Jim-”

“Jim is someone who should have been looked after and wasn’t,” Coach cut Steve off, “I’ve talked to Barbara while they were gone. Jim wasn’t okay with everything either. He just… had others to talk too.”

Like Steve had before they left. Then again Steve only had Pepperjack and Tarron for what? A month and a half at the most? Maybe he should get Steve into group therapy. Maybe he should convince his mom to move away from all this nonsense, all these memories. Start fresh in a whole new state and let Steve grow from there. 

“I’m… Used to getting hit, “Steve mumbled. 

Coach bit back the angry words but cursed this boy’s father in his head, “Physically hits and emotional ones are not the same. You have learned poor coping mechanisms for both Steve. It’s okay, you’re safe here.”

Steve’s mouth made a tight thin line. Coach understood that Steve wouldn’t believe that right away. It would take a while and perhaps Steve will always flinch when someone shouts too loud or makes a comment about something. He will still be there for the boy. 

“M-mom’s working late again, isn’t she,” the boy shyly said and for once Coach saw Steve as he was, a scared little boy.

“Yes, so dinner is anything you want,” Coach smiled gently, “We can go get ice cream too, marathon gun robot?”

Steve didn’t answer and Coach frowned, worried the kid was going to slip back into his head again. 

“I can have anything I want?”

Coach nodded, “Yes.”

The boy shuffled his feet and kept glancing away, “I.. I want a hug then?”

That got Coach to smile and he pulled Steve into his arms. He let Steve hide his face into his chest and didn’t comment when he felt his shirt start to get wet. He didn’t comment but he did gently rub the other’s back as each silent sob surged through him. He could feel the way his body tensed and relaxed with every cry but barely any noise was made. It hurt Coach to know that his son has mastered the way of crying silently but at least he as letting him see him like this. Steve was letting Coach in just a little bit more. 

And if Steve fell asleep like that then that is for Coach to know and never to tell.

**Author's Note:**

> im SOFT


End file.
